Day One

I just read day one of the study on "Knowing God by Name", it covers the most important name "YAHWEH" "LORD" I Am Who I Am. This is His name forever and he ist be remembered for all generations. Exodus 3:13-15.

Who is the Lord "YAHWEH" to you?

I'm not sure how many people if any read this anymore, but sometimes it's good to put your thoughts out there, good, bad, or indifferent. But I had a thought and wanted to see what others thought. While at Beth Moore, I purchased a "Know God By Name" Bible study, it's very interesting to learn all the names He has. I haven't gotten past day 1 because, well I read it during deer season, and haven't looked at it again, due to other study we were doing...so I reread day 1 the other day and can't wait to sit down and do it. As some of you may know I will be a little under the weather so to speak around Christmas and plan on really getting into it then. So as I go on this journey I will need support and would love input on it. So hopefully I will post the names and you can provide input for me.

Wow it's been awhile again, life hasn't slowed down any since my last post, in fact I think it's gotten crazier, but I couldn't be happier. Went to a Beth Moore Living Proof Live Conference and had the time of my life, we will never see John the Baptist in the same light. My surgery date and time has been set and I am now off steroids and it SUCKS!!!! I forgot how miserable I was before them, sometimes I feel all alone in my suffering because I don't think anyone fully understands that it is very miserable, I'ver heard of emotional side effects from this and I pretty much have them all, they disappeared while on steroids but now it's all coming back to me. I'm very irritable, don't sleep well, and in general feel yucky. I hope the surgery will fix it all but my hopes are not very high, i know it will help some but how in the world is it gonna help with the inflammation? I think I manufacture more snot than any human on earth, sneeze way to much in one day, heck I even wake up to sneeze. They are going to remove some scar tissue and unattach a turbinate that is adhered to my nose due to scar tissue, fix my septum, and again clean out almost all of my sinus cavities. If this doesn't work I have a fear that the next step will be bone removal. Not looking forward to that at all!!!!

Wow I went off there didn't I, anyway the next few months are going to be full of 3 things I love, my kids, baseball and basketball. My son starts basketball in january and our baseball sign ups start then too. Well we are going to Barnes and Noble to see a cookbook author and Hayli is chomping at the bit to get to the book store, do you believe that a 3 year old who wants to go to the bookstore. Hopefully I will post more soon.

I can't believe it's already Sept., next month poses to be a very busy month, sometimes I wonder why I do it to myself, but I always take on way too much. I'm not complaining by any means because I love it, I love it. Not only will I have baseball mtgs 2 Mondays a month we are also starting a Bible Study at Church on the other Mondays so that pretty much takes up every Monday in my month, one Tuesday a month is WMU and every Wed. is something else at Church. So all this will continue right up until Dec. then it will be Christmas and my surgery (as if anyone cares right :) ) Then guess what it will be 2010, yep that's right I'm a big downer. I hope 2010 brings a better year than this one.

I got on here in full hope of having something inspiring to say but I'm not an inspiring kind of person. I'm a very hot headed person who gets sick of everyones crap and get tired of being treated like crap by people. A few years ago I wouldn't put up with it but I'm a lot calmer now than I use to be and have a habit of letting people walk all over me. I keep my mouth shut now because if I started saying what I thought most of the time it wouldn't be pretty and could be pretty hurtful. Why I care I don't know because people usually don't care what they say to me or how they say it. I've been told that I'm a pretty warm and sweet person but why do people think that they can treat me like crap because they are my friend? Being my friend doesn't give you the right to insult me, treat me like a dog, or talk to to me like one. Maybe I'm being to harsh but I'm just tellin it like i feel.

Well it's time I must go prepare for my busy week of work work work.

Has it really been 2 mos?

So much has happened in the last 2 mos I don't know where to really begin. I guess the biggest thing for me is that I have recently become involved with our local baseball/softball association
I'm totally siked about it. They actually listen to my ideas and to me, it's something that I know about and people know that. I've tried to give ideas about different things in other areas that I'm involved in but they get shot down and it's very frustrating, I know I don't see things as other people do when it comes to raising kids, marriage and our roles as some would believe God intended them to be, but I've always believed that I should be an equal to men not below them or above them but equal. And sometimes I wish people just stop and give my ideas some thought, but whatever such is life. I think I got sidetracked. For now I am on the BOD of the association, signed up for I think 3 diff committees, will more than likely be over softball and will be a t-ball coach (I already have tons of ideas for that). So besides that I work 40 hours a week, teach Sunday School and Wednesday nights (right now I am helper but that will change), and in my spare time i do all my other domestic stuff. I still love my job and that is a huge surprise even to me, lol. I am having another sinus surgery in December right before Christmas, there is still some blockage, scar tissue has caused one of the turbs to adhere to the side of my nose, and they are going to fix my deviated septum. I sure hope this is the last of it, it's been 4 years of pure misery most of the time, and I'm having minor side effects from the steroids.

Enough about me on to the kiddos...Cole has started 1st grade and you wouldn't believe the crap they do in 1st grade can't they just kids be kids for goodness sakes. Cole is a super smart kid so that makes it easier, I can't imagine what it would be like if he wasn't. They've had 3 spelling tests already, I know he got a 15/15 on the first one but haven't gotten the second one back. His words are not that easy and you would think they would atleast be rhyming but no such luck. His bonus words have been school, little, and Ms. Rascher. They have to do a sentence too with correct capitalization and punctuation. Soon he will have math tests too, he already has math homework Mon-Thurs, and if that's not enough, starting second quarter he will have to do a book report every week, yep you heard it right every week. He may take it all in stride but mama gets very stressed out over it. ;) Cole has been very involved over the last couple of months in 3-D bow shooting and is very very good, of course Cole is the type of child that is fairly good at just about everything, except being good. I look forward to watching him excel in everything he does.

Now for my Hayli girl, what do you say about her, more like where do you start. Most of you know she is a ball of fire and a joy to be around most of the time, but when she's mad you had better look out. She is now 3 1/2 and acts like she is 5 or 6 b/c she knows no different. She gets in trouble ALOT because she is very independent and very very stubborn, both traits that I have no idea who she got them from ;). Some people have a hard time with her because of it and it's gets aggravating to hear her get in trouble especially when I'm standing right there, again my parenting against others ;), I try to let her be her own person and I have to choose my battles with her or we would be battling all the time. Hayli is a child that has to learn on her own, you have to let her discover things and let her hurt herself or she will keep trying till she does. People probably think I don't discipline her enough but discipline has to be based on the child and Hayli isn't your average child. I couldn't imagine my life without her and her devious ways.
She has been trying for months to write her name and has almost got it, I must say I'm pretty impressed since she is only 3.

Well that's all I really have to say for now, maybe I'll post again before 2 mos.

Well this last week or so has been very, very crazy. I have buried my last living Grandparent, traveled to the country 2 days in row, once for the aforementioned funeral then to celebrate my grandmother in laws 69th birthday, fought with my kids to go to VBS, watched a town mourn the loss of a resident who died for our country, tried everyday not to cry over every sad song or thought I had, worked 36 hours, found out that I will forever be steroid dependant, celebrated Father's Day 2 days in a row, and took my daughter to the dr. today to find out she has swollen lymph nodes on the back of head. I am truly, truly exausted. Looking forward to a slow week, but that will drive me crazy I'm sure.

My house is a disaster to say the least but I keep telling myself it will be there tomorrow and then tomorrow comes and goes with nothing done, my garden is growing along with the grass in it, next year we will for sure do it differently but for now we live and learn, I'm sure July will bring lots of canning of the produce my sister and I have grown.

I know everyone else probably has it worse than I do but for now it's my turn to feel sorry for myself, I've been pretty strong since last Thursday, well for me anyway. I went to the funeral pretty much alone have felt like I have no reason to be sad I wasn't close to her, I resented her alot for the way she treated me like i wasn't good enough for the rest of them, heck they all treat me like that. But truth beknown I was sad but trust that she is with our Father and is no longer in pain and knows who we all are and can now know all that I have accomplished in my life. I will forever remember the day she passed tho, since it was on my anniversary, haha Grandma couldn't resist getting that last dig in on me. RIP Grandma tell Grandpa I said hi.

GOOD BYE KINDERGARTEN

That's right my little boy graduated Kindergarten tonight. WHOOOHOOOO. Complete with hats diplomas and a very nice complementary graduation photo. Their program was nice, they sang My Country Tis of Thee and an ABC song to the tune of the Munsters theme song. It was great and it was short, thankfully cuz we had two other little ones that were ready to be done. When it was over we got to go to the room where we received a very nice mini scrapbook of photos from years past. He said he loves me cuz I let him ride his 4 wheeler, (ssshhh don't tell him that's acutally his dad) and he loves his dad cuz he takes him to the bow shop. The scarey part is he wants to be an ironworker when he grows up. The rest of us are NOT very excited about that. Before any of you jump to conclusions I've watched what this profession does to a person and it's not pretty. Then we went to Burger King with my mom dad and sister and steven, then we went to the sno cone shop. Some guy with a blue and green mohawk got haylis attention, she stopped and looked at him and said you have blue hair, he turned his head and said green too. So then you know my lovely Hayli she decided he needed to see her blue tongue. If this computer was faster you would get to see both the blue tongues. For those of you that didn't know I became a great aunt this week (not liking the great part, I'm not old enuff for that) and he is absolutely beautiful. Well that's all for now.